Just mADE A PArabola og urine
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize