well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The police scanner is talking about you again....
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
