You're a womanizer and a bitch.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
