Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
