Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
