is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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