Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
