if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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