That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
