we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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