At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
