Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize