We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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