hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
