: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
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