My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Your cock deserves a montage
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
