i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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