i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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