oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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