The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Someone came in the potted fern
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
