she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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