I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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