I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize