forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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