it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
