His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
