I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
splinters make it hard to masturbate
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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