Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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