I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
