I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Thank you for not boning my boss.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
