Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
this is an emotional support booty call
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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