Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
