do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize