I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
