omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
