lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
