My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
