I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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