dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
