I hope mine doesn't look like that
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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