Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
