Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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