Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize