I wish i was in the wii world.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
