I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Drunk is not a location!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
