please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize