Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
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