I think I died a long time ago.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
