If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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