i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
