we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
