i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
