I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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