Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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