I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just invented taco cereal.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
