You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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