You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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