Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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