Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize