This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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