i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
