I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
