Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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