Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Randomize
