I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
