we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
