She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize