I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
