I wannas sexs uuuuu
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I am mentally ready for anal.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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