is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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