you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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