8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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