Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
