I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Its about making memories worth repressing
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
