Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
