Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
